There are only a few moments in our lives when our understanding and role as leaders change dramatically. The first for me was being inducted into my first pastoral position at the young age of 23. The next came when I became a husband at the age of 25, followed by becoming a father at the age of 28. Each of these moments in my past radically changed who I was as a leader. While I have changed pastoral positions several times and have also changed churches once, my leadership paradigm remained relatively unchanged until summer of 2020 when I was diagnosed with cancer.

In June 2020, twenty years after that initial leadership role of becoming a pastor, I was diagnosed with cholangiocarcinoma, an aggressive and deadly liver cancer with a single digit survivability rate.While I have tried to maintain life as normal, this type of diagnosis inevitably impacts life, and mine has been no exception.Ironically enough, I am the pastor of care at our church and the one responsible for caring, supporting, and walking alongside those in our congregation who are suffering.

What happens when we, as the pastors, are the ones suffering? 

You may not have terminal cancer, but we all live in this broken world which groans as it awaits the redemption and hope that is only found in Christ (Romans 8:22-23). Until then, suffering is part of that groaning and therefore, part of our lives and ministry.

As we lead our churches through times of suffering, let me share four principles I am humbly learning while going through my own suffering.


Did you ever wonder why Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:8 only pleaded three times for his thorn to be removed? Why wasn’t it four, five, or one hundred times? I read this passage in awe of Paul, thinking that I was missing something, but eventually concluding that God desires my contentment in Christ over the removal of my suffering.

We must teach, preach, and model that Christ’s grace is sufficient. I can share that throughout my battle with cancer, Jesus has been so gracious and loving towards me, despite my own sin and brokenness. I have come to know Him in a way like I have never experienced before in my life. While I wouldn’t trade the mountain top experiences, and while I sure wish I could trade this experience, I know that without cancer, I would not be able to see Jesus and love Him as clearly as I have during this time. In some ways this valley experience has provided much better views of eternity and life than the mountain top experiences ever hoped to.

We need to pray for our people, and we need to pray for God’s healing hand over physical or spiritual issues. However, let’s prioritize, as Paul did, contentment in the sufficiency of Christ while also praying for healing. This may not always be what people want to hear, but it is what they need to hear. 


Recently in pop culture, we have seen several examples of people who chose to keep their cancer private, such as Chadwick Boseman and Norm McDonald. While I respect their choices, I wonder if their silence reflects a society that is not ok with vulnerability. Vulnerability is often misinterpreted as insecurity and weakness, and therefore vulnerability may cause us to miss out on opportunities where strength is the desired trait. Biblical vulnerability, as modeled by David in the Psalms and Christ in the garden does not stem from weakness, but rather strength. I realized early in my diagnosis that I needed to show strength by being vulnerable. I needed my church to pray, support, and care for me and my family, but it would require a level of vulnerability that is quite uncomfortable. It means that I need to be ok being served, while I am usually the one who prefers to serve. Our vulnerability during suffering models how we want our congregants to respond both in heart and action to suffering. So, express your sorrow, accept help, show contentment, and at times be ok with not being ok.


In the past few months, my cancer has spread and my prognosis has worsened. I don’t have answers to the whys and am past feeling that I need to have a spiritual response to all these difficult questions. As we lead our churches somewhere between brokenness and redemption, our congregations and communities do not need all the answers. They need pastors who walk with them, grieve and lament with them, and model a hope that is rooted in the gospel during the most difficult of times. Many of our Old Testament heroes of the faith knew what it meant to lead while not having all the answers. Moses in Deuteronomy 29:29 wrote “the secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things that are revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law.” And we cannot forget Job in chapter 38 when God spoke “where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell me, if you have understanding.” 


Church leader, when eternity becomes a priority, whether through study or through an unfortunate event, the sideways noise that so often consumes our attention (look no further than the past 2 years) can often become so overwhelming that it distracts us from our focus on Christ and eternity. Jesus in John 14 just finished informing his disciples of his impending death. Jesus, acknowledging their stress, fear, and anxiety over his news, reminds them to remember eternity and not to let their hearts be troubled. We must appeal for eternity in the hearts of those in our church; we must appeal for their security, hope, and affections to not be temporal, but to be eternal.

In elementary art class I created a little man made of clay. I will often carry him in my bag or my pocket as a reminder. He is a reminder and often an illustration of God’s goodness amid our brokenness. As you look at him, he is fragile, he lost his arm when he was little, his face is a bit distorted, and let’s just say this was his creator’s first time working with clay. But he belongs to me, he is precious to me, he is valuable! I created “Little Man,” as I call him; therefore, I love him. Little man outside the safe embrace of my hand, my pocket, or my shelf is not safe and should be fearful when he’s not with me. I have a much different perspective than he does.

The application should be apparent, and I close with this – while being broken and fragile, it is impossible for us to understand why and how God in His sovereignty acts, but we can always hold on to God as good because He created us. He sacrificially loves us. He is our affection for eternity. And finally, He is completing His good work in us (Romans 8:28, Phil. 1:6), even if it remains blurred to us during our times of earthly suffering.

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Pastor Adam Williams and his wife, Shree, are both natives of south-central PA and are blessed with three sons: Noah, Aiden, and Gavin. He has 22 years of pastoral experience in churches located in Pennsylvania and Maryland. He graduated from Word of Life Bible Institute, Liberty University, and has a doctorate from The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, KY. Currently, he is the Family and Care Pastor at Mountain View Community Church in Frederick, Maryland serving in care, counseling, and shepherding, as well as encouraging and equipping marriages and families. You can read more about Adam's battle with cancer at his blog,

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  1. Stanley Tarka on December 5, 2021 at 7:08 pm

    Dear Adam, We never have met but I have heard many times about you and your wonderful family and those special sons and Grandsons from the time spent working with your father-in-law whose love for all of you shows no bounds. A few months ago he shared your Blog and this the first time I have had an opportunity to read it. You are truly a blessed thought leader communicating with such ease the wonders of the gospel of Jesus Christ in ourr daily lives. Know that you are in my prayers this evening as your congregation and those around you have the good fortune to continue to grow in the words of the gospel that you share with all.

    God Bless you and continue to guide and carry you forward mentally and strengthen you physically with these current challenges and wishing you all the blessings of the Christ child this Christmas.

    Stanley Tarka

  2. Rob Grodahl on November 24, 2021 at 6:44 am

    Thank you Adam for continuing to model Christ and pointing us to Him for our ultimate hope! Blessings to you brother!

  3. Steve Saurman on November 13, 2021 at 1:36 pm

    Thanks so much for putting this out there for folks to read and wrestle with. I work with your Father in law, and we love to talk about the things of God at break and after work. He sent me this. I support you 100% in what you say, but it means so much more coming from one who is living out what you just explained.

  4. Paulo Freire on November 12, 2021 at 10:23 am

    Thank you Adam. We continue to pray for you on this end and ask for God’s mercy to sustain you and bring healing to your body.

  5. Jane Ryan on November 11, 2021 at 8:47 pm

    Pastor Adam,

    Your powerful words and experience teach, inspire, and help us grow as Christians. You bring us closer to Christ. Thank you!

    Jane Ryan

  6. Linda Latchford on November 4, 2021 at 7:38 pm

    Hi Adam,

    Just wanted to say thank you for all that you have done and for all of the lives that you have impacted in such a positive way…..for being the strength for those who cannot walk…..for giving guidance to so many that are lost and confused…..for your gift of hope and inspiration for so many, including myself. You have many special gifts from God that have surly blessed and inspired everyone that has been a part of your life in every way! GOD BLESS YOU…THANK YOU♥️

  7. Phil Lazo on November 4, 2021 at 1:19 pm

    Adam, thank you for your perspective. It is important and needed in this world. These are vital lessons to live by. Know that Karen and I pray for you and your family.

  8. David V Martin on November 3, 2021 at 9:55 am

    I echo David’s sentiments, Adam. Thank you for your insights and especially for your trust in our Lord in the throes of difficult circumstances. The peace of Christ at work within you is an encouragement to me and I’m sure to many others. Your understanding of Paul’s prayer life is helpful to me. Thank you, dear Brother.

  9. David Hansen on November 3, 2021 at 8:50 am


    Thanks for your outstanding article and insight! I am very sorry to hear about your prognosis but please know I will pray for you daily as you endure this trial!!

    God bless you and your family!!

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