I Was Wrong About Ordination

No one likes to admit they are wrong, especially if they were wrong for 20 years. However, that was the case with my ordination experience in the EFCA. I started the ordination process almost 20 years ago, but I didn’t get very far. The required reading wasn’t as engaging as I had hoped; the steps in the process seemed unappealing and, in some ways, unnecessary. If I am being honest, I didn’t want to jump through a series of hoops to prove that I was competent to do what I was already doing.

There has always been a side of me that wants to be effective and efficient and think outside the box, and with the ordination process, I didn’t want to fit into an “outdated” ministry process. Besides, I was busy, and the accolades didn’t appeal to me. I was beginning ministry, getting married, and moving, so I put the ordination process on the back burner. A few years after that, I had kids, and my time was divided even further. I turned the burner off completely and forgot about being ordained.

That would eventually change when I was hired as lead pastor at another EFCA church. The Elder Board hired me on the condition that I would pursue ordination. I wasn’t thrilled with the idea (again, my attitude was very much, “I don’t want to do something just because it’s what people do”), but I wanted to submit to the direction of my Elder Board.

So… I waited another 6 years. Not because I was being insubordinate, I was just busy. We were forming a staff team, making changes to the church, tackling issues, planning preaching series… some tasks always felt more necessary (and more exciting) than writing a paper.

Eventually, I figured out that the pressing needs were never going to go away. Something had to change if I was to honor my commitment to the Elder Board. I decided that I needed to get my staff team on my side to help me out by clearing up some space to get the ordination over with (again, I did not have the best attitude). They happily stepped up, and I cleared 10 days where I would do nothing but study and write the paper. The days were long, but God allowed me to write more efficiently than I had ever before.

I assumed at that point that I was done; however, that’s precisely where the process began to humble me. Sure, I could write my paper in just over a week, but the editing process, re-learning, tweaking, and diving deeper into Scripture was just the beginning. I spent over a year working closely with others who went through the process, with the District Board of Ministerial Standing (DBOMS), and with the Lord in prayer. On many topics, my theology was embarrassingly weak; in other places, it was incomplete. The light had shown on some dark corners, and it turned out that what was there was not pretty. I couldn’t defend things nearly as well as I had assumed that I could. It was a sobering moment to realize that I couldn’t adequately articulate why I believed the Trinity was eternal or what happened in the kenosis. You could go down each of the 10 articles in the EFCA Statement of Faith (SOF) and there were several truths in each article that I wasn’t defending sufficiently.

I began to realize that the process was having an effect on me that was different than what I initially expected. I assumed that it would simply prove to myself/others my competency. What I didn’t anticipate was that it would be a significant refinement process. The DBOMS would work with me to help me become more seasoned, articulate with theological proficiency, and have more confidence in the SOF. It wasn’t about getting a step done; it was about allowing the process to mold and shape me. I needed to grow and be refined, and this process was the precise tool God would use to accomplish it. I had gone from dreading the experience to thoroughly enjoying it. I am incredibly grateful for those who helped, and have come to view my ordination paper as a personal theology reference to remind myself of why I believe what I believe.

I guess to put it bluntly, I was wrong for 20 years.

To those not ordained: I recognize you may be busy and unmotivated like I was. Any voice trying to encourage you to be ordained could be politely ignored. I get it. I was stubborn and had excuses for two decades, so I will only ask that you consider four questions.

1. If the accolade/certificate does not appeal to you, does the process of personal refinement draw you in? It’s good for us to know this stuff. How much more efficient and effective could you be for the kingdom after this process?
2. Is it better to know how to defend truth with a degree of certainty than simply hope the topics don’t come up?
3. How would your increased theological proficiency guard your church from theological errors 10 years down the road?
4. Would this be an experience that would let you know God more intimately?

I came to view ordination like my growth in sports as a kid. The first year I played baseball was a disaster. I was terrified of the pitching and used the longest bat to stay as far away from the plate as possible. At one point, I even sat down after two strikes because I didn’t want to face a faster pitcher. Looking at that terrified little boy, no one would think that in 12 years he would love baseball and become half-decent at it.

Something happened over that time to inspire confidence and increase skill. I have come to value the ordination process in the EFCA for just that reason; it has inspired confidence and increased skill in something with eternal significance. So in the end, I was wrong, but God eventually straightened that out.